new semester and anxiety

I wrote this the night before I was going to the other city to study after summer vacation:

Tomorrow gonna go to Urmia. Back to college! I’m excited and happy but I have fears too. I’m afraid that all the bad things that happened there the other year (first semester), might happen again. I might fall in stupid love/crush AGAIN. Ok, That was not love but it was something more than crush!On the other hand, I think I won’t get depressed again. I think I’ll rock! Cause I’m talking pills! They won’t let me get depressed, right? They’ll take care of me.

Maybe I should just make a list of the mistakes that I should avoid this time:

Dear Pouya,

* Don’t listen to Blues 

* Don’t rush into having girlfriend! (Or finding “the one” [Or whatever!])

* Every time you get anxious, don’t relate it to the girl next to you! You are NOT in love, you just have anxiety disorder. 

* Don’t talk about girls with your friends all the time. This makes you think about a girl more than usual and makes your feelings to get out of control!

Overall, I think this semester is gonna be one of the best studying experiences in my life. I’m gonna meet new people, learn and experience new stuff, fnd out about new methods and enjoy living without anxiety. Because pills will take care of me. 

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